cover photo

cover photo
The Chaos Reigns
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that our lives belong to each other." - Mother Teresa

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Orphan Sunday - Miracle of the Loaves

Today is Orphan Sunday. It is estimated that there are over 132 million orphans world-wide. That is an overwhelmingly big number. 

But, it is not too big for God....if we follow His will.

My feelings about our adoption have changed a lot since China. And, it is really miraculous.

At a Mass a few weeks after we returned home from China, the reading was on the Miracle of the Loaves. 

It hit home for me on my feelings in China.

Jesus spoke to the crowds about the kingdom of God,
and he healed those who needed to be cured.
As the day was drawing to a close,
the Twelve approached him and said,
"Dismiss the crowd
so that they can go to the surrounding villages and farms
and find lodging and provisions;
for we are in a deserted place here." Luke 9:10

The apostles told Jesus to send the crowds away.  They had a mess on their hands that needed to be avoided. The numbers were overwhelming to the Apostles.

He said to them, "Give them some food yourselves."
They replied, "Five loaves and two fish are all we have,
unless we ourselves go and buy food for all these people."  Luke 9:12-13

They did not have enough resources to feed all these people.  

That was me. I was overwhelmed by the number in our family. I felt like we took on more than was even possible to handle. We just took in two little kids of trauma... we were relying on our 2 kids traveling with us to help us. Juggling 4 in China was close to impossible... and we had 2 more little ones at home. Maybe some people can handle this...but not me. I was telling God this was just too much. Not possible. I was telling God this was a mess. Too many. Too much.

Now the men there numbered about five thousand.
Then he said to his disciples,
"Have them sit down in groups of about fifty."
They did so and made them all sit down.
Then taking the five loaves and the two fish,
and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing over them, broke them,
and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd.  Luke 9:14-17

13 to 5000.  But, Jesus wasn't overwhelmed. He had complete trust in heavenly Father to provide. His response to the disciple was I am going to feed them, and I am going to do it through you. Notice how Jesus didn't feed them. He allowed the miracle to happen and had the Apostles feed the crowd.   

God kept saying to me...I chose you. I will provide for all of their needs. 

But, you see I am a very unqualified candidate for God to choose.  

I love.... 

peace and quiet,

my individual time with my kids,

my time,

my grand ambitions,

my grand ambitions for each of my children,

showering my kids with all kinds of crazy individual attention.

God knows this

...and He knows better.

See...His plan for each of my children is way more ambitious than mine.  

And, He knows what I would plan if I only had one or two children.  

They all ate and were satisfied.
And when the leftover fragments were picked up,
they filled twelve wicker baskets. Luke 9:17

God provided them with more than they needed.

Six months later, I can now see the fruit. I see how God breaks up our children into these smaller groups, so He can provide for all their daily needs.

I can see Jude and Gia's transformation. I can see how they are beginning to heal and become the children they were created to be. I can see the true miracle of their lives, and what a blessing they are for our family.

God's plans for each of us is way bigger than our small plans. If we follow His will..not ours. We will have true peace.

Maybe God is calling you to adoption. But, maybe more children (or having children) seems like way too much. Too many. Too hard. 

Adoption is a journey of redemption. It is a hard and can seem overwhelming at times. 

But, maybe you are being called to take part in the miracle.